


Trans in Transit

by dontrush



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Female John Egbert foreshadowing, Trans Jade Harley, she’s doing her best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23388085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontrush/pseuds/dontrush
Summary: On her 14th birthday, while zooming between sessions, Jade talks to John about growing up trans. To her surprise, he is far more (and far less) knowledgable about that than she thought.
Relationships: John Egbert & Jade Harley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	Trans in Transit

JOHN: happy birthday jade!   
JADE: thanks so much john!!!!! <3   
JADE: and thanks for all these cakes!   
JADE: there sure is a lot of them   
JADE: honestly im not sure why you made so many   
JADE: theres only three of us on this ship and im pretty sure davesprite doesnt eat   
JOHN: you sound ridiculous jade.   
JOHN: a birthday without too many cakes is like a hardened excon’s daughter without a bunny.   
JADE: she doesnt get the bunny until the movie is almost over!   
JADE: we literally just woke up and the cake pile hasnt stopped getting taller!   
JADE: but even though you gave me cake WAY too early...   
JOHN: says you.   
JADE: today is a day i’ve been looking forward to for a long time!   
JOHN: really?   
JOHN: i could be wrong but im pretty sure 14 isn’t that huge of a milestone.   
JADE: not normally, but...   
JADE: i have a little surprise to make this one special!   
JADE: its a birthday present for myself im super excited about!!!!!   
JOHN: cool!   
JOHN: lemme guess, some sort of steak?   
JOHN: perhaps a colorful new chew toy to play with?   
JADE: no nothing like that :P   
JOHN: beats me then. what is it?   
JADE: wellllllll   
JADE: you know how im trans right?   
JOHN: ...   
JOHN: i know how youre what now?   
JADE: :o   
JADE: youre joking, right?   
JOHN: uh.   
JADE: that was a big dumb jokey joke??   
JADE: and my birthday present from you is this classic egbert prankjape?????   
JOHN: oh.   
JOHN: OHHHHHHHHHHH.   
JOHN: right.   
JOHN: um. yes it was a joke?   
JADE: oh my god you seriously forgot i was transgender   
JOHN: just for like a second!   
JADE: just for like years it sounds like!   
JOHN: no really! i remember now.   
JOHN: you told me when we were like 11.   
JOHN: you sent a VERY sweet letter.   
JADE: that you forgot?   
JOHN: i guess???   
JADE: jeez :\   
JADE: i knew you were oblivious, but this seems like a bit much!   
JOHN: i’m not sure i’m seeing the big problem here.   
JOHN: you knew you were a girl when we first met.   
JOHN: so when you later came out as a trans girl there weren’t any new pronouns or a name to learn.   
JOHN: it seemed like the right thing to do was to keep treating you the same way i always had.   
JOHN: so it just didn’t seem that important to me.   
JADE: well....   
JADE: your heart seems to be in the right place but   
JADE: thats actually pretty wack!   
JOHN: really?   
JOHN: also, "wack"?   
JADE: yes! and hush :P   
JADE: being trans is important to me!   
JADE: and while i wouldnt want you to treat me any differently because of it...   
JADE: the fact that im trans is a big part of who i am and how i see the world!   
JOHN: that makes a lot of sense.   
JOHN: sorry about forgetting!   
JADE: it’s cool! :D   
JOHN: but, uh, what does that have to so with the surprise?   
JADE: oh, right!   
JADE: soooooo you know how i’ve been kind of....   
JADE: freaking out at jaspersprite?   
JOHN: how can i possibly forget!   
JOHN: you two are HILARIOUS.   
JOHN: that is literally never going to get old, not even if it ends up knocking me unconscious.   
JADE: see thats what im worried about!   
JADE: im afraid of me not being able to control my temper   
JADE: and i think it might be happening because my hormone levels are starting to change D:   
JOHN: are you sure it’s not the dog thing?   
JOHN: because it’s definitely the dog thing.   
JADE: the dog thing?   
JOHN: well, you’re part dog now.   
JADE: and?   
JOHN: what do you mean and?   
JOHN: it’s super obvious that’s causing the issue.   
JADE: i mean i...GUESS that might be having some affect on my hormones?   
JOHN: not that, jade. come on.   
JOHN: you only freak out about dog stuff!   
JADE: really?   
JOHN: yeah.   
JOHN: it’s basically just jaspersprite and doorbells.   
JOHN: and that one time i dressed up like a mailman as a prank.   
JADE: the less said about that the better   
JOHN: we never did find that poor red arm-swingy-dealy thing.   
JADE: ugh what did i just say????   
JADE: but yeah my hormone theory is probably just wishful thinking   
JADE: its for sure the dog thing :\   
JADE: which is a shame, because i actually had a plan for the other thing   
JOHN: what’s that?   
JADE: welllllllllll   
JADE: i figured out how to alchemize hormone blockers!   
JOHN: neat!   
JADE: ive been looking forward to this since long before i sent you that letter   
JADE: i remember reading growing up that some trans teens start blockers around age 14   
JADE: so the world ending when we were 13 was kind of a bummer   
JADE: but as my birthday got closer i realized there wasn’t much reason to wait any longer!   
JOHN: that’s the spirit!   
JOHN: we might not have all the time in the world on this ship before things get serious again but 3 years is a loooooooong while.   
JOHN: i’m really happy for you!   
JADE: :o   
JADE: really?   
JOHN: haha, why wouldn’t i be?   
JOHN: this is a big milestone for you, isn’t it?   
JADE: it is!   
JADE: i just figured you wouldn’t get the significance   
JADE: given you forgot i was trans until a second ago   
JOHN: pfffffft.   
JADE: what?   
JOHN: c’mon jade, i know what hormone blockers are.   
JADE: wait   
JADE: you do?   
JOHN: of course!   
JOHN: they block the testosterone in your body so you don’t have to go through male puberty.   
JOHN: then when you’re ready you can start taking cross-hormone stuff.   
JOHN: and normally a doctor has to take your blood work regularly but we don’t really have that option.   
JOHN: we’re kind of immortal though so it’s probably fine.   
JADE: ...   
JOHN: anyway, that’s so cool!   
JOHN: what did you make, like, spironolactone?   
JOHN: if so you might have to alchemize some more toilets since its a diuretic.   
JOHN: heheheheheheh   
JADE: ummmmmmmmm   
JADE: wow, uh   
JADE: no offense, john, but...   
JADE: why do you know all that?   
JOHN: what do you mean?   
JOHN: i know i’m no rose or anything, but i’m not DUMB.   
JADE: no   
JADE: seriously john   
JADE: none of that medical stuff was in my letter   
JADE: and im realizing now that we never talked about me being trans all that much   
JADE: so where exactly did you learn all that?   
JOHN: i guess you have a point there...   
JOHN: i’m actually a bit unsure myself.   
JOHN: back when you told me you were trans i did a little research online, because i wanted to understand what you were going through.   
JOHN: and i read about how hrt works.   
JOHN: maybe some of that kind of stuck?   
JADE: :D   
JADE: that’s really sweet, john!   
JADE: but   
JADE: did you honestly forget i was trans   
JADE: and then perfectly remember the name and side effects of a random medication youve never taken???   
JOHN: i guess?   
JOHN: sorry.   
JADE: its okay!   
JADE: im not angry, im just a little confused   
JOHN: i don’t get what’s confusing about it.   
JADE: well you said it didnt matter to you that im trans   
JADE: so it makes sense youd forget that   
JADE: but how are you such a walking encyclopedia about hrt?   
JADE: shouldn’t that also not matter to you?   
JOHN: i don’t know.   
JOHN: it doesn’t really matter to me, but...   
JOHN: why wouldn’t i remember something that cool?   
JADE: cool?   
JOHN: hell yeah!   
JOHN: if you start soon enough your voice doesn’t drop, and you don’t get facial hair.   
JOHN: NO SHAVING, jade.   
JOHN: how is that not the coolest?   
JADE: it does sound nice!   
JOHN: lol.   
JOHN: and that’s not even including the estrogen, or even just social transitioning stuff like wearing cool dresses and junk.   
JOHN: you get to completely reinvent yourself!   
JOHN: its too bad you’ve gotta be trans to do all that.   
JOHN: sounds like a pretty sweet gig if you ask me!   
JADE: :\   
JADE: jesus, john   
JOHN: what?   
JADE: youre in so DEEP!   
JADE: how did rose not have this cracked years ago?   
JOHN: have what cracked?   
JADE: never mind that   
JADE: tell me, did you ever read up on trans stuff more than just the once to learn what i was going through?   
JOHN: well yeah.   
JOHN: i used to idly read through it sometimes since i had it bookmarked.   
JADE: and you did that because?   
JOHN: because i thought it was important!   
JOHN: jeez, sorry if i wanted to be a good ally, jade!   
JADE: you! forgot! i! was! trans!   
JADE: how were you gonna be an ally to a fucking cis girl, john?   
JOHN: whoa! take it easy, jade.   
JOHN: you seem tense.   
JADE: haha im not tense!   
JADE: youre just being way sillier than you normally are   
JADE: and it doesn’t even seem to be on purpose   
JADE: im trying so hard to do the right thing and let you make decisions at your own pace, but youre making it kinda difficult :\   
JOHN: what do you mean "decisions"?   
JADE: gee i dunno   
JADE: maybe..........   
JADE: deciding whether youre trans?   
JOHN: HAH.   
JOHN: i think i’d know if i was trans, jade.   
JADE: i thought youd know if i was trans, john   
JADE: people are wrong sometimes :P   
JOHN: ...   
JOHN: fair.   
JOHN: wait what am i saying, those are two completely different things!   
JADE: okay i admit the situations are a TEENY bit different   
JADE: but i stand by what i said!   
JOHN: and i stand by not being sure how it applies to me!   
JOHN: i’ve never even considered the idea that i’m trans.   
JADE: thats precisely what the problem is!   
JOHN: it is?   
JADE: i mean it doesnt end up being a problem for most people   
JADE: but im starting to think you might want to mull over what gender means to you exactly!   
JOHN: why?   
JADE: well....   
JADE: a lot of those things you were saying about how cool it is to reinvent yourself sure made it sound like you also want to reinvent yourself!   
JOHN: you can think something is cool without wanting to do it yourself, you know.   
JADE: how many times did you give someone a bunny because somebody did that in a movie once?   
JADE: even when the situation absolutely did not call for it?   
JADE: youre EXACTLY the kind of person who emulates the things you think are cool!   
JOHN: well...maybe.....   
JOHN: listen.   
JOHN: suppose i do decide to entertain your WILD and UNSUBSTANTIATED theory.   
JOHN: which, need i remind you, is BOGUS and NONSENSE.   
JOHN: where would i even begin?   
JADE: well for starters   
JADE: have you ever thought about asking me how i knew i was trans?   
JOHN: sure. tons of times.   
JADE: tons? :o   
JADE: but you’ve never actually asked   
JOHN: i heard that it can be really personal and uncomfortable to talk about.   
JOHN: every time i wanted to ask i decided to just wait for you to open up if you wanted.   
JOHN: after doing that so many times i guess i just ended up forgetting about it.   
JADE: :D   
JADE: its nice to know youre putting my feelings first   
JADE: but if i didnt want to talk about it id just tell you no when you asked!   
JOHN: shit.   
JOHN: i’m starting to think you might have more common sense than me.   
JADE: nonsense :P   
JADE: but officially consider this my permission you goofball   
JOHN: okay then...   
JOHN: how did you know you were trans?   
JADE: well....   
JADE: im actually a bit of an outlier   
JADE: remember how early my dream self awakened?   
JOHN: yep.   
JADE: i used to spend a lot of time staring at the clouds in skaia   
JADE: seeing visions of things yet to come   
JADE: one day i saw a vision of my older self   
JADE: and she had long hair and a skirt!   
JOHN: wow.   
JOHN: that’s...REALLY anticlimactic.   
JOHN: you just did what the clouds told you to do?   
JADE: no way!   
JADE: all that meant was that i would have long hair and a skirt at some point   
JADE: it leaves a TON of room for context!   
JOHN: like what?   
JADE: like how there are plenty of reasons a cis guy might present himself that way!   
JADE: not even the kind of wacky hijinks im sure youre thinking about   
JADE: heck, when i was younger my grandpa would dress me up like that!   
JOHN: really?   
JADE: yeah!   
JADE: he was super old fashioned and had an...outdated opinion about baby clothes   
JOHN: oh yeah, i think i’ve heard about this.   
JOHN: back in like fdr times, boys were brought up wearing dresses, right?   
JADE: exactly! and thats how my grandpa raised me   
JADE: i wasnt even out of dresses before i started learning to shoot pistols!   
JADE: after he died though, and i got old enough to use the internet, i learned that nowadays things are VERY different   
JADE: so i started dressing more like how i thought boys were supposed to dress   
JOHN: and you didn’t like it?   
JADE: its never quite that simple D:   
JADE: it was hard to identify that feeling as anything other than a general unease about myself   
JADE: i was barely a child, in the middle of the ocean, all alone save for an omnipotent dog   
JADE: it makes a whole lot of sense to feel uneasy in that situation!   
JOHN: i bet.   
JADE: when i started dreaming, things felt a little better, but there was still something off i just couldnt place   
JADE: then when i saw myself in that vision, i couldn’t stop thinking about it!   
JOHN: i’m glad it worked out!   
JOHN: buuuuuuut this still sounds super preordained.   
JADE: i really dont think it is!   
JADE: and maybe the old me wouldnt be able to explain it to you without a lot of handwaving   
JADE: but talking with davesprite has really changed the way i think about time stuff   
JOHN: it has?   
JOHN: man all he does with me is brag about saving my life   
JADE: hehehe :D   
JADE: when it comes to all the “inevitable” stuff   
JADE: hed probably say something dorky about a beat you can spit whatever rhymes you want over   
JADE: but to me its a coloring book!   
JADE: you see a vague outline of the future   
JADE: and you get to fill it in with whatever feelings and intent that you want!   
JOHN: that’s definitely a more you way of explaining it.   
JOHN: how did it feel?   
JOHN: seeing yourself as a girl?   
JADE: i thought it looked like a lot of fun!   
JADE: just a girl version of me playing a silly flute refrain for her plants :D   
JADE: i wanted to be like her!   
JOHN: you wanted to be like you.   
JADE: exactly!   
JADE: so after thinking about it for a bit i decided to start socially transitioning   
JADE: not that i really had anyone to be social around D:   
JADE: but when i met you and dave and rose i finally got to introduce myself as a girl!   
JADE: it felt so good to say!   
JADE: i decided then that i had it all figured out   
JADE: i was jade fucking harley and i was trans!   
JOHN: hell yeah!   
JADE: but that’s exactly what it was, john!   
JADE: a DECISION!!!   
JOHN: deciding to be trans?   
JADE: no i dont think thats something you really get to choose   
JADE: but its definitely a choice to acknowledge it   
JADE: and it takes effort to figure it out   
JOHN: see that’s why i’m skeptical about me being trans.   
JOHN: it just seems like a lot of effort!   
JOHN: i’m so glad you figured out that effort is worth it for you.   
JOHN: and you do seem really happy.   
JOHN: ...   
JADE: but?   
JOHN: but.   
JOHN: all this gender stuff seems like a waste of time.   
JOHN: i’m a 13 year old kid, hurtling though a green void to god knows where to try to save the fabric of reality itself!   
JOHN: literally who cares what my gender is. including me.   
JADE: you dont have to think about it right now!   
JADE: ill give you some space   
JOHN: some SPACE?   
JADE: yes :P   
JADE: but if we get through this and reach our reward   
JADE: and it gets to be 10 or 20 years down the line   
JADE: and you’re in denial and hiding from the world because youre afraid of who you are   
JADE: promise youll come talk to me?   
JOHN: thanks, jade.   
JOHN: i promise.   
JADE: <3   
JOHN: <3   
JOHN: now who wants more cake?   
JADE: ughhhhhh 

**Author's Note:**

> Seven years and one realizing-I’m-trans later, I’m back writing Homestuck fanfiction! I’ve got some more stuff in the works but I hope you enjoyed this little taste <3


End file.
